Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Anxious Anticipation

These are the last few days of being the mom of one. I'm nervous about the adjustment. My mind is filled with so many questions: Will I be able to handle being the mom of two? Will Naomi get enough attention once baby comes? Will she act out? What will I do if they both need me at the same time? How will I ever get anything done around the house with two beautiful children to care for? Is is possible to love another child as much as I love Naomi? How will this labour/delivery/recovery be? I guess the best way to describe how I am feeling is anxious. Anxious for the birthing process, anxious to meet this new little one, anxious about the adjustment time. Just plain anxious.
With Naomi, I was already in the hospital at this point in the pregnancy getting my labour induced, and I am NOT eager to repeat that process. I feel like I am in "uncharted territory". I have more of the "typical" end of pregnancy symptoms than I did with Naomi, including LOTS of Braxton Hicks contractions. I hope that these are a good sign that I will go into labour on my own and avoid induction. According to the doctors a spontaneous start to labour gives me the best chance to have a VBAC and avoid another C-section. Pray with me that this will be the case, please.
Ron has been the sweetest husband throughout this pregnancy and I know that he is nervous about the transition to a family of four. I think its because we have the memories of Naomi's birth as our only reference point and that experience was anything but typical. I keep trying to remind myself that it likely won't be worse than it was with Naomi and we were able to survive that, so therefore we'll make it through, right? I know everything will work out fine, but I can't help but wonder, how?


Heidi Ens said...

I hope the baby comes soon for you and it will be a better experience for you. And, yes, it is possible to love a new addition and much as you love Naomi. It's amazing what our hearts are capable of.
Motherhood can be very difficult at times, but children are so tolerant and so loving and so forgiving. And as tolerant, loving and forgiving they are, we need to be even more towards them.

Miranda said...

Darrell and I are praying for you, Ron, and Naomi as you enter into the last few days of your pregnancy and then into delivery. You'll do great cuz!! And you will be a fantastic mum of two beautiful babes! Lots of love to you!

Jackie Buitelaar said...

You will love the new hospital. Hope things go well for you and that your adjustment to a family of four brings you much joy in the midst of sleepless nights.

"To laugh often and much, to win
the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false
friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, or a garden patch... to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This
is to have succeeded!" - Emerson